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Revenge of the Sith

I have traced the Rebel spies to her. Now she is my only link to finding their secret base. Don’t underestimate the Force. You don’t believe in the Force, do you? The Force Unleashed In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. What good is a reward...

Homer: Bad Man

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night. That’s why I love elementary...

How do you know she is a witch?

Well, how’d you become king, then? Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! I dunno. Must be a king. The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! What… is your quest? Burn her anyway! Now, look here, my good man. What do you mean? Camelot! Burn her! We want a...

Crimes of the Hot

OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase «upside...

I Had a Dream

Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client. He taught me a code. To survive. You’re a killer. I catch killers. Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized. Somehow, I doubt that. You...

Love & Monsters

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Army of Ghosts You’ve...

Ready, Aim, Marry Me

Not tricks, Michael, illusions. Really? Did nothing cancel? Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a...

Itaque Earum Rerum

Itaque Earum Rerum

Corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati. Qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati. Qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Temporibus Autem Quibusdam Et iusto...

The Phantom Menace

But with the blast shield down, I can’t even see! How am I supposed to fight? Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. I want to come with you...

Cape Feare

I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. When will I...